


Touchstone

by Traincat



Category: Fantastic Four (Comicverse)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Negative Zone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 06:29:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14466966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Traincat/pseuds/Traincat
Summary: Ben couldn’t place what had woken him at first. It was a strangle, muffled sort of sound, and every few minutes it would stop only to start up again, rough and strangled. He groped for the lamp on the bedside table, but it shattered under his hand.He’d forgotten they weren’t at home.Or: Johnny cries, Ben lies.





	Touchstone

**Author's Note:**

> Posted this to tumblr the other day in response to an anonymous prompt, because I love post-Negative Zone trauma and if comics won't give it to us then I will. This is the tweaked and polished version. Set nebulously current canon during Johnny and Ben's current universe hopping road trip in Marvel 2-In-One. There are brief references to self-destructive behavior and possible suicide -- it's basically on the same level as the actual comic.

Ben couldn’t place what had woken him at first. It was a strangle, muffled sort of sound, and every few minutes it would stop only to start up again, rough and strangled. He groped for the lamp on the bedside table, but it shattered under his hand.

He’d forgotten they weren’t at home. 

Things going bump in the middle of the night in a strange universe – Ben had been doing this too long not get suspicious.

“Hey, Johnny,” he called into the dark. “You awake, kid? I could use a light here…”

The hitching noise paused again, and then Johnny said, his voice hoarse, “Go back to sleep, Ben.”

Ben lumbered out of bed, feeling his way around in the dark for the light switch and hoping he didn’t break that too. His knee met the corner of the dresser with a crack and he winced.

“Are ya crazy?” he asked, feeling as delicately as his rocky fingers would permit along the wall. “Don’t ya hear that noise?”

“Ben, please, go back to sleep,” Johnny said. The brief spray of sparks that accompanied the request told him that Johnny was still in his twin bed, at least. 

“And let whatever it is suck out my blood in the middle o’ the night?” Ben demanded. “Kiss my big rocky ass.”

His little finger bumped into the light switch. Carefully, he flipped it on.

Johnny was sitting up in bed, his knees pulled up to his chest and his fingers twisted white knuckled in his own hair, like he wanted to tear it. 

Ben realized there was no monster going bump in the night. The strange sound had been Johnny – Johnny, trying to stifle his sobs.

“Go back to sleep, Ben,” Johnny repeated to his knees. His shoulders were shaking. For one long moment, Ben was dumbfounded. 

It was far from the first time he’d seen Johnny cry. No, he remembered that day – leaning against the wall while Sue tried to explain Reed’s plans to Johnny, assuring him that it’d be fine and they’d be back before he knew it. Stupid, skinny kid that Johnny had been, he’d started to argue, then he'd started to cry, and because Ben couldn’t stand the wailing he’d said, “Jeez, Stretch, if the trip’s so safe, why not bring the brat?”

Johnny had stopped crying, his eyes had lit up. Sue and Reed had looked at each other. And that had been that.

And then Johnny had been changed forever, along with the rest of them. Once upon a time he'd just called Reed stretch on account of how lanky he was, always stretching across the room to snag something, pencils tucked behind his ears.

Ben had always known what to do before when Johnny was upset – fix it, somehow. Take Johnny out to a movie when he got his heart broken or hug the stupid kid when the team took a break, wrapping his big arms around him as gently as he could and letting Johnny cry it out. 

Hadn’t it seemed like the end of their world that day? They’d had no idea.

Ben didn’t know how to fix things anymore.

“What’s with the waterworks?” he asked, gruffer than he’d intended. Johnny’s shoulders went stiffer, hiked up nearly to his ears. 

“Don’t,” Johnny said. Ben couldn’t see his face, and he didn’t know whether that made things better or worse. He had to take a second, trembling all over now, and then he swallowed audibly and said, “Please, Ben. Just go back to bed.”

For one moment, Ben almost did. He could have clicked off the light, lumbered back to his own bed, pulled the pillow over his head and pretended he couldn’t hear the kid sobbing his heart out five feet away. Maybe he deserved that. Maybe they both did.

The bed sank underneath him as Ben sat down. Johnny sigh was shaky but annoyed, like he’d already known Ben wasn’t going to leave well enough alone. He flinched when Ben reached out to lay his palm atop his knees, but he didn’t move away.

That was something, at least. 

“Whassamatter?” he asked. Then, when he didn’t get a reply, “Johnny?”

For a long moment, the only noise was Johnny’s ragged breathing. He flinched again when Ben brought his hand up to touch the top of his head, where his fingers were still twisted in his own hair. 

“Hey,” he said. “Ease up, huh?”

Slowly, Johnny’s hands relaxed under his. One hand twisted around to grip Ben’s thumb, fingers skimming over the rocky plates of his skin. Ben could barely feel it, but then it was more for the kid than it was for him.

“It’s nothing,” Johnny said, ruining the statement with a sniff. Then, perhaps more honestly, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Whaddaya want me to do, sing?” Ben asked gruffly. Johnny just sniffed miserably, letting go of Ben’s hand to swipe at his eyes. 

If the kid didn’t want to talk, there was nothing Ben could do. He was tired. They’d had a long day of monster hunting, roped into it by this universe's version of Wynona Wingfoot, but it was the lie that was starting to wear heavy on Ben. Another day, another world, sometimes another Reed or Sue – but not theirs. He couldn’t tell Johnny the truth, though. Not even when Doom looked at him with that smug glint in his eyes, or when Rachna stared at him when she thought he wasn’t looking, wearing the same look Reed used to get when he was a hair’s breadth away from reaching a conclusion. Ben still couldn’t tell Johnny.

He wasn’t scared of what the kid would do to him if – when – he found out that Ben had been lying to him about Reed and Sue being out there, somewhere, lost and waiting for them. He was scared of what Johnny would do to himself.

He’d promised Suzie he’d take care of Johnny.

Ben raised a hand to rub at his eyes, sighing. What a revoltin’ development.

“Ben?” Johnny said, voice thick.

“What?” Ben asked, sharper than he meant to.

He was just tired. That was all.

“Nothing,” Johnny said, short and clipped. “Sorry.”

“Nah,” Ben said, shaking his head. “Nah, Johnny, I’m –” Sorry. A liar. For one terrible second, Ben almost told him. Almost just blurted it all out and let the cards fall where they may. Then Johnny lifted his head to finally look at him, his eyes wet and his brows drawn together, all the color drained from his face. Before Ben even registered it, he’d raised his hand to Johnny’s face, brushing the back of his rocky knuckles against Johnny’s cheek. “Hey, kid. What’s wrong? Tell me.”

“Nothing,” Johnny repeated, even as a tear slipped down his cheek. Ben wiped it away as gently as he could. “I just – sometimes I have this dream and I wake up and I don’t know where I am, and I need something to remind me, but there just – there isn’t, there isn’t anything here, because we’re not even home, and I…”

“What kind of dream?” Ben asked when Johnny trailed off, breathing hard. He’d aimed for gentle, but the truth was he’d never been good at it, even before the cosmic rays had made him hard and rocky. Big, brash Ben Grimm, down on Yancy Street. Big Ben, swinging fists and a smart mouth to boot. Daniel Grimm's little brother. Being soft in the old neighborhood had never done anyone any good. Take care of him, Sue had said. How was he supposed to do that? Everything hurt the kid. Every damn little thing.

“It’s nothing,” Johnny said, closing his eyes. “It’s stupid.” 

“Don’t look stupid from where I’m sittin’,” Ben said.

For a second he thought Johnny really wasn’t going to talk. Then he blinked and swallowed, turning his head away from Ben's touch. His fingers twisted in the blankets and he glanced away from Ben, staring at a spot on the far wall.

“In the dream, I’m in the Negative Zone,” Johnny said, and Ben’s blood ran cold. “I’m in the Zone and I’m burning and Annihilus…” Slowly, he raised his hand, fingers sliding around his own throat as he tipped his chin up. “Not even all the suns in the sky. Not enough for Annihilus.” 

He said it in a strange, stilted tone, like he was repeating something. For a second his fingers tightened, and Ben made a move like he was going to knock his hand away, but then Johnny dropped it back into his lap. He looked back at Ben, and his eyes were electric, fire sparking in those blue depths. 

“I just need to know I’m home,” he said, pure defiance on his face, like he was just daring Ben to say something. To laugh at him. “But I’m not home. And even if I was, it wouldn’t matter.” 

Ben didn’t know what to say. He had to glance away himself, his throat tight. He swallowed convulsively, trying not to think about it – Johnny, on the other side of the shield, his hand pressed to Ben’s. “You don’t wish it any more than I do,” he’d said. No, Ben had wished it so much less.

It should have been him. It should have been him.

“Aw, kid,” he managed at last, blinking the tears away from his own eyes. 

Johnny bristled like an angry cat, yanking himself away from Ben. The motion made Ben remember the way he’d turned away, facing the advancing horde, and before he knew what he was doing he was reaching out and grabbing for Johnny. He made a noise of surprise as he was crushed up against Ben’s chest but Ben just curled his arms around him, remembering holding Franklin and Val as the gate had closed, cutting him off from Johnny.

“Don’t do that,” he said, staring down at the top of Johnny’s blond head. Johnny tipped his head back to look at him, his eyes wet and his gaze suspicious. Ben’s heart ached – what had happened to them, to make Johnny look at him like that? Ben just shook his head. “Don’t do that, Johnny.”

Slowly, the ice in Johnny’s gaze melted.

“Sorry,” he said, glancing – but not moving – away. Ben held him a little tighter.

“Nothin’ to be sorry about,” he said. “God, you stupid kid.”

Johnny laughed at that. It was what he'd always liked about Johnny -- no amount of jokes or jibes had ever seemed to get rid of him. Slowly, Ben settled against the headboard and Johnny went with him, sprawled awkwardly against his chest, but real and whole and warm in Ben’s arms. Take care of Johnny, Sue had said. Ben was trying but it was hard when it seemed like the kid was always saving him.

Johnny’s breathing had evened out and his shoulders had relaxed. 

“I just need something to remind me I’m home,” he said, voice barely more than a whisper. “You know how Reed is, he’s always up, so I’d go down to his lab and just there sit there and listen to him work… or sometimes it’d be early and Sue would be getting ready. Made me feel like a kid again, but it was nice.” 

“What’d ya do?” Ben asked before he could help himself. “When I wuz… away.”

“I had Medusa,” Johnny said, shrugging. “Then I didn’t. Seems to be the pattern.”

That was still hard match for Ben to picture, especially with Black Bolt in the mix. He didn't like thinking about it too much -- all that long red hair wrapped around Johnny. But then the kid never seemed to luck out in the love department. Ben would always remember knocking on Alicia's door and Johnny answering, barefoot and shirtless. That was the only time they'd ever gone that long without talking after a fight, before now. Before Ben had left for space. He hadn't thought about it before, but somehow Ben heading to outer space never seemed to end very well for Johnny.

“S’okay, kiddo,” Ben said softly. “I got ya now. I got ya and I ain’t letting go.”

Johnny lay his cheek gingerly against Ben’s chest, put his hand up against his sternum. Sometimes in his waking hours even Ben forgot the sheer size of himself, how much space he took up, the hardness of his skin – and then he held someone to himself. Alicia or Suzie. Sitting on a park bench with pretty Debbie Green, her tucked against his side. Johnny, who felt like he was made of glass. When he curled his arm around Johnny it was like he was shield, or a big brick wall, keeping anything from touching him.

“I used to watch the kids sleep,” Johnny said after a long moment. He glanced up at Ben, seeming simultaneously much older and much younger than he actually was. Ben knew exactly where he'd been for the kid's last birthday: starting a bar fight with Rocket on some out of the way little dust ball of a planet's moon, Kitty Pryde in the corner with her hand over her eyes. He wondered what Johnny had done and realized suddenly that he didn't really want to know. “I’d just stand in the doorway and listen to them breathing. It reminded me why I did it.”

Ben’s grip on him tightened. “You shoulda let me do it. You shoulda let me be the one to stay behind.”

Johnny laughed a little, curling in closer.

“Yeah, well,” he said. “I figured if you ever woke up and saw me staring down at you, it’d be clobbering time, so.”

Ben stroked his thumb up and down the length of Johnny’s arm, remembering – being so sure of himself in the moment he’d decided to stay behind. It wasn’t the worst way to go out, he’d figured. He’d do it like a hero, Ben Grimm, standing tall in his own skin. He’d had the best week of his life. He’d been ready to make that sacrifice.

And then Johnny had shoved him. One minute later, one single stupid minute, and he wouldn’t have been able to do that. 

“Franklin would wake up sometimes,” Johnny offered suddenly. “Never Val, she always slept like a log but – I think Franklin could feel me, in his dreams. I’d pretend like I’d just gotten home, actually – like I was just checking on them. But I think he knew anyway.”

“Smart kid,” Ben said. “Whaddayacallit – observant. Got that from his mom.”

“Yeah,” Johnny said. “He’d make me cocoa. I acted like I was doing him some big favor by drinking it. Always had to be too cool, the stupid Human Torch…”

He sighed regretfully and sniffed again, wiping at his eyes.

“Hey now,” Ben said, shaking him a little. “The kids knew – they know you love them.”

Johnny just nodded, falling silent again. For a few minutes Ben thought he might have drifted back off to sleep and had resigned himself to a long night spent being the kid’s mattress, but then, quietly, he said, “Ben?”

“Yeah, matchstick?” Ben said, gathering him a little closer. Johnny wasn’t keeping a very tight grip on his powers; Ben could feel the hot gust of his breath against his rocky skin. That was alright, though. The kid couldn’t burn him, not like this, and they both knew it. Ben exhaled slowly, his breath ruffling Johnny’s hair. 

“Did they – have they not come back yet because of me?”

Ben glanced down at him, brows furrowed. “What the hell kind of question is that?”

Johnny shrugged one shoulder defensively.

“You. Medusa. Pretty much everyone in my life,” he ticked off on his fingers. “Frankie – I mean, most guys only get ditched for outer space once. If Spidey ever moves to Mars, I’m just calling it quits myself.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Ben said gruffly, remembering – Johnny, falling from the sky. Johnny, flaming on last moment. 

It hadn’t been like that, Johnny had said. He’d just been testing his powers, he insisted. He claimed he hadn’t been trying to hurt himself. There were moments where Ben even believed him.

He should tell him. He knew he should. The truth was going to come out sooner or later, and then what was he supposed to do – tell Johnny he lied, what, to protect him? To keep him safe? He wasn’t doing that, not dragging the kid from universe to universe with his powers failing. Not when Ben’s own powers weren’t far behind. Sooner or later, they’d hit a wall. The end of the road. The truth would come out. Ben should just rip off the bandaid and hurt the kid worse than anyone had ever hurt him before in his life. Johnny would roast him and he’d be right to, and then -- Ben couldn't think about and then. 

He kept his mouth shut, for the same reason he'd opened it in the first place. He didn't know how to fix the kid, and it was easier to lie.

“Remember when we first jumped universes?” Johnny asked. “I asked why, if it was this easy, and when Reed’s – you know, _Reed_ \-- why haven’t they come home already? Why make us look for them?” He looked up at Ben. “What if they’re out there but they don’t want to be found?”

Ben looked down at him, and he knew he should tell him. At the very least he ought to do it before Doom did. Doom would make it hurt worse, too -- Ben didn't buy the new helpful act for one second. Victor Von Doom would twist the knife just to watch Johnny squirm.

“We’ll ask ‘em when we find ‘em,” Ben said, looking away.

Johnny seemed to accept it as an answer. Stupid, trusting kid – always believing in Ben.

“Sure,” he said, snorting. He pushed away from Ben’s embrace, but didn’t go far, sinking down to lie on the bed again. Ben stayed where he was, not that Johnny seemed to mind. He turned onto his side so he could look up at Ben, eyes still red-rimmed, and waved his fingers, the tiniest flash of fire curling around them before he extinguished it. “If we don’t run out of steam power first.”

“I came back, ya know,” Ben said. He reached out and put a hand at Johnny’s back, thumb rubbing gentle circles. For all the jokes and jabs and insults over the years, Johnny had never shied away from Ben’s touch. He didn’t now, either. He just sighed, closing his eyes, and turned his face against Ben’s stone-like hip.

“I’m tired, rocky,” he murmured.

“So go back to bed already, firefly,” Ben said. He raised his hand to touch Johnny’s hair, then reached for the blankets, yanking them up over him. He made himself as comfortable as he could on less than half a bed already too small for him and covered Johnny’s back with his own giant hand again. “I’ll keep the monsters away.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [Tumblr](http://traincat.tumblr.com), come cry about Johnny Storm with me!


End file.
